We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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