That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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