And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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