i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
