I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
