Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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