These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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