I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
