Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
