So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
