somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
