i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
