it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
