I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize