Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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