I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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