hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
this boner is exhausting
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
