Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
