Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
