No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
