I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize