I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
