I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Green mimosas i think yes
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
