$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
