so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
