you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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