Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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