I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
