yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Sorry my hands just texted you
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
