I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
