return my video game
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize