i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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