so that wasnt chicken after all
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
