windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize