dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
This is the high leading the old right now
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
