Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
