This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
