I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
tell your sister to shave her snatch
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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