She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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