Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Randomize
