I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
