Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
