I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
