Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
