Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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