Just cropdusted the office
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
