so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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