Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
The air was thick with penises
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
