this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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