Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
