You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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