I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He's on the porch naked. Help.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
