I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
