yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
