Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
