i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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