i just google imaged poop.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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