i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
