I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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