He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
