Sry I called you an 8
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
