I look better un-naked...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
