I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
