Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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