you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Randomize
