ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
