I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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