So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
