What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize