Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?

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(843): View more from South Carolina

there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.

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(706): View more from Georgia

You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over

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(631): View more from New York

He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.

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(530): View more from California

Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?

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(443): View more from Maryland

Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.

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(917): View more from New York City

Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.

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(207): View more from Maine

I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream

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